My new normal

So this has been a big week for me in terms of my journey to fitness.  I am currently on day 6 of no Diet Coke. For those you know that know me, you rarely saw me without one in my hand.  The first few days I was a REALLY uncomfortable and craved a Diet Coke every second of the day.  After making it through the first few days and getting some tips from friends at Beachbody's Team Dynasty, I am really starting to feel better about it.  I'm using Iced Tea to help with the caffeine withdrawal (I'll eventually get rid of that too), sparkling water with Crystal Light and this amazing "soda" called Zevia I found at a local health food store.  Its made from all natural flavors and is sweetened with stevia rather than aspartame like you find in Diet Coke.   After one week, I can tell the cravings are going WAY down and I'm able to handle them much better when they show their ugly faces! 

Second I started P90X.  I posted a YouTube video of my first workout, the good the bad and the ugly.  Let me repeat that... I, Erin Terry, Anxiety Girl extraordinaire and world's biggest self critic posted a video on YouTube.  I plan to do this at least once weekly in order to keep myself accountable, but also to show that even if you are in the middle of your journey to fitness it's ok to let the world see you struggle and succeed.  I'm still a bigger girl, but I want to show that I'm giving this journey every ounce of me that I have. 

Finally, and probably the thing I am most proud of...I finished the Savage Race, the race built to "kick your ass".  The first race I did, I made it through, but this one was different.  I felt different.  I felt like I was just as capable of at least attempting every single obstacle.   I felt like an athlete, not just a fat girl trying to pretend to be one.   I ran until it was time to wait for an obstacle or to quickly recover for no more than 5 min.  Did I mention that it was 6 miles yet?  Yeah it was!  I did obstacles on my own that I would have needed my team to literally lift me over that first race.   I think my team lost me a couple of times because I was ahead of where they thought I would be.  The only regret I have from this race is I wasn't able to complete the last obstacle.  I gave it 110% and tried 4 times.  I was so frustrated that I didn't accomplish it that I almost let it ruin every other amazing thing I had done that day.   But today as I write this, I think about all the things I DID DO.  All the struggles I did overcome.   Today, I'm ok with missing that last obstacle because I know I tried with every ounce of my being.  I just fell a little short, and that's ok.

So, I think the biggest thing I've gotten this week, is a realization that I am doing really amazing things.  I'm starting to get that tape in my head that's been on repeat for years telling me "you can't do that", "you're a loser", "no one likes you, stay by yourself", and "blah, blah, blah", to finally shut up!!!!   I have always been an All or Nothing thinker.   If I'm not perfect at something the first time I try it, I give up.  That's why I never got past Frogger on an Atari (do they even make those anymore??).  Well, that kind of thinking hasn't gotten me very far in life and has kept me from doing things that I have dreamed of.  I'm finally becoming a "I'll do my best and see what happens" kind of thinker.  Let me tell ya, it's a much easier and kinder way to go through life.

Now that I've written a novel (guess I had a lot to say today!!), I want to invite those of you that struggle with low self-esteem, those of you that think you can't do anything, those of you that think   that you're not good enough, to join me in fighting for what we deserve simply because we are unique, amazing human beings!  If you want to contact me and start to fight for your best life, feel free to do so at coacherinterry@gmail.com, erinkterry@hotmail.com and erinkterry@beachbodycoach.com.  I PROMISE, I will support you in every way I can!!  Thanks for reading!!